要是
一個人总覺得自己是多餘的，
那么
他在這個家的地位是什么？
。。。
我真的很難相處嗎？
只是不懂得表達吧了。
。。。
我不喜歡
每個人把我當成
“什麽都可以”
對，
什麽都可以。。。但“什麽都可以”也會有極限。
我不喜歡去吵，
因爲最後還不是要有結果，
那我就聼你要的是什麽。
。。。
你們的話
就像利刀
狠狠地刺。。。
笨蛋
自私
沒腦
汎濫的人生
我的決定
永遠都是錯的
那么不如少說不是更好。
。。。
在我被別的事
傷害時，
爲什麽
我聽到的
不是安慰
而是冷嘲热讽。
。。。
有時我真的覺得
跟朋友，愛人在一起
還比較被重視。
不是說完全不好，
只不過，
有的時候，
我不想
背負著
“什麽都是我的錯”。

Sort of emo...

Feeling like drifting apart from lots of friend...

Maybe is part of life...

Sometimes, I was really thinking;

did my existance irriated some fellow people out there?

Why am I having such thoughts?

Aiya,

I was surfing FB and I came across some secondary friends' birthday.

Sad to say,

I was not invited.

But it's ok, because I am not really close to them.

I wondered is it because I am jealous of them that made me feel bit sad to see them celebrating happily...

Crazy girl, am I?Muhahha...

Not sad but a bit distracted..

Ok, to cheer myself,

I shall tell myself...

"Thanks, god! I am not close to them because I didn't need to pay much attention if they need help..."

I don 't know why...sometimes I think I am damn selfish...because I only sensitve to what concern me but not others.

But my intention is always a happy ending but it end up I only concern about me.

After watching 500 days of summer,

alot of random thoughts really passed through.

Why I say I was like the female role is because...

I behave inimated with someone before but eventually turn sour after disrupts,agruements...

I told him to wait for me 3 months...

When he woo me that time, sweet words came and the feeling is sort of lovely.

After sometimes, he behaved very werid.

He ignored my messages, my calls...it is very insecure.

I asked myself, I give my best yet he mistreat it.

What you treat me as?Some dog that you want me I will be there?

After pondering very hard, I raised the white flag.

But I got put in feeling in it...in every relationship I have, even a fling when I told him I love him.

And it's not even the 3 months, I got another new boyfriend.

That guy, messaged me one night..which I can't remember any single message...But I can sense he's bit sad.

Ok, what I was trying to say...

Maybe he just cannot give the feeling to actually made me really 100% want him.

Just like how summer treat tom in the movie.

And I was thinking about this funny feeling when listening to 丁噹's你為什麼說謊.

I can sense, he blame me for using him...

but..

你不能說我沒有愛過 說我沒等過 難過

我也想說 也許能重來我卻還是沉默

你一直問我的心到底在不在問我怎能不遺憾就丟失愛

而我的淚 怎麼就流下來

Recently just watch 500 days of summer.

It' s so hilarious!
But my slave said he fell asleep because he's too tire ;(
EXCUSE!
Mauhaha
Anyway...
Maybe summer is my split image...
I don't know...
Maybe only...
In some ways...
Or I am the combination of both?
And I went to dye my hair, rebond my left sided hair and eyebrow embroidery.
No more pudding hair!
No more no-tail eyebrow!
Going to get a eyeliner embroidery soon...
After I paid my $200++ phone bill...

Sweet talk...
is so funny to come out from you.

因爲有你在我身邊，
才顯得我的不同。
快快回來，讓我靠靠你的肩膀！

Back from clubbing...
Actually,
don't need to worry about me...
because I am dancing the alcohol away..
I am clear of what I am doing...
And when I say I am awake,
I really mean that!

White roses for me.
Represents
I miss you.
You are heavenly.

We know each other less than 2 weeks now.
But, everything seem too fast.
The way you treat me,
somehow makes me worries.
Maybe, I am being hurt that badly subconsciously that I some sort of scare...fear of being started and being left behind.
The things you did, I know, I can see...
You rather talk to me than talking to your friends.
You brought me to mac, just because CP wanton is out of stock and your friend just asked whether you want any mac.
You kept asking me to drink honey due to my cough.
You will give me virtual kisses to show how much you miss me.
You will be there earlier than me, just because you know I don't like to wait.
You will help me put on the jacket when I am cold.
You will be there when I say I want to.
You will eat those things you don't like if I demanded you to eat.
You will change your tone just because I don't like your high pitch.
You try to talk to me in English because I say you sound better in English.
You try not to wear your glasses because I say you look more nicer without it.
You cut your hair because I say it's messy even though you going to NS soon.
You admit all under your faults because of me.
You tried your best to send me home each time.
You will wait for me until I am want to sleep; give you a good night call before you can sleep.
You fetch me to airport just because we will be separated for 4 days.
You bring "I miss you" to airport to surprise me; and I only mention once, I loves white roses.
You bought "you are heavenly" today because we walk pass the florist.Don't spend too much on flower ok...but I felt like a little princess with you around.
&
you know what you touch me badly?
That day I call you and you wait for me under block to put me on the jacket.
You piggyback that drunken me all the way home.

But,
I cannot accept you yet.
I am scare...
scare that I still cannot forget him.
scare that a new hope brings a new disappointment.
Seriously, I really lose faith in love.
If you can wait, you wait...if not, forget it.

Thanks for the everything you did, Kelvin Tan B. H.!