--:: Tan Xiang Zhou ::--

Monday, August 31, 2009

It's day 2.
Last night, I cry in my sleep.
I really can't control myself and bran said my eyes were swollen after crying.
Today...another not happy day.
Work is wrecked.
I asked myself, why my life is so down?
Am I not that hardworking enough?
No longer "moring baby" but a message to beg my forgiveness and returning freedom.
Thanks to my BFF, lim yee joo, lending her listening ear...
You are important in my life.You played different roles in my different stages of my life.You are never being an extra but me.muahhaha
And also ismail, the 1st to I reveal the truth, & people who show your tender loving care!
Of course, crying didn't stop by day 2.
But life still goes on, earth still spinned.
What can I do to heal my broken heart?
Let me vent!
Let me scream at the top of my lungs!
Let me run using my fastest spreed!
Let me dance like a melody!
Let me do what I want...& lend me a shoulder to cry on now.

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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 2:40 AM

Sunday, August 30, 2009

I broke up with Dear...
He initated it,
because he don't want have time for me...
He don't want to see me sad because he has no time for me.
I understand,
but break up tend to be sad.
allow me to sad ok?

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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 1:08 AM

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Very, very long never been a big fat extra...last night I am back to a extra role.
Anyway I have fun with sister of friend's friend at the stage.I never knew I am that nuts...m&m peanuts do make people nuts.
How's the feeling of drinking 2 flaming lambo?
Totally high but I just wanted to get myself drunk last night.
Love, work just fall out...very stress...I hate to use stress because I think this is just a small part of life, bigger stress yet to come.
Back to extra role,
They ordered drinks while I myself go and deposit my bags.
When I am back, they already the drinks.
They asked me to Q for drinks, saying will accompany me to Q...but ended up all in toilet.
When they came out from toilet, they went for their drinks and went to dance floor.
And all I did was, Q and drink...next dance like some mad woman.
Luckily, my da lian is at dfly...or esle I really don't know where to go when one whole bunch of them left me.
Life, how many regrets is needed to complete it?
To be honest, my biggest regret is the one I left for my 2 year relationship.
Whenever I am damn stress up, I will think of him.
But, I never call him last night!
His exsistance is like my shadow...hide under the dark.
His memory is a spike...that pierce my heart.
I don't love him as I said but...he has become a regret in my life.
And I break down in cab...my sorrow, nobody bothers...no one cares...
That's extra...and here am I to fill you up.
See, being an extra is good.
Everyone knows you...whenever they need to fill up the space, I am here.
An extra always have a good listening ear.
An extra always have a comfortable shoulder to lean.
An extra will always think she's very important.
An extra won't die so easily...because if she dies, no one will light up your life...

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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 11:46 AM

Friday, August 21, 2009

Today is not my day.
I mean 20 08 2009.
I miss one bus stop today. It's not because I overslept or what.But it's the bus driver never see me.I kept pressing the bell but he just kept driving.And so, I alight at ABC market...walking all my way back to AH.
And I got scolding from a crazy customer.And this collague of mine just could not stand by my side but kept insisting I did wrong.I admit partly I am in the wrong but that GY asshole should not show attitude to me as I didn't do anything to provoke him.He's angry but I am not the one he can vexed all his anger at.And I deserve a apology from him...after getting all his anger & get my day sucks!
I don't know why...people just loves to sterotype.
I admit sometimes I do;
at least
I try to listen(if only I am cool down)
before I jump into a conclusion.
I may be fickle minded, unable to make a descision
*KNN GY KNS* All those vulgarities is now filled in my mind.
So emo... =(
Even best buddy, BFF, ben ben de don't want to with me.
And I really itchy ass...
made dear irriated...
He tried to console me after knowing that I had a bad day.
Asked me to sleep.
But my message just made him pissed off in the end, he just don't want to reply me anymore!
He don't want me anymore?
He don't love me anymore?
he don't want me because I am really a pain...
*tears at the edge of my eyes*
Sorry, dear!
3 times = very sincere, from the bottom of my heart
Dear, I know my mistakes...please don't angry with me...
please don't don't want me!
Don't angry with me k!
Waiting for your message...but I don't to receive any disappointment...
looking for companions for...

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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 2:03 AM

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Lao niang is in love...
lao niang scare it go very fast...
this morning even worsen...
I dream he left me...
so let's do what he said...
Low profile...
Being force to take picture
I am cam-whore...too bad...Last night he talked to lao niang till very late...very tiring...because lao niang very demanding...
I got his front view...
But I still prefer low profile...


=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 12:58 AM

Saturday, August 15, 2009

I was scare you did the same again.
But was so so happy when you called.
dear, I really didn't receive your message; it's time to change your phone!
Thanks for consoling a scared-soul!It did help =)


=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 6:33 PM

Thursday, August 13, 2009

You made me smile...
this is forever...

P.S. can't wait for next week to arrive!


=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 12:14 AM

Friday, August 07, 2009

"He maybe still love you...that's why he hides away from you..."
from ben ben de's mouth
that night
he message me something like this
"I really want to treat you as the important ones...but that was in the past"
I never wait for him...but miss him sliently
& let him live in my memories...

=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 11:45 PM

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Just now...
I really feel so helpless that I break down.
Don't like to be sick...
sick=weak=thinking of wrong stuffs

=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 11:14 PM

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

I tend to think about the past when I was stress up.Felt so sorry...


=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 9:55 AM

Monday, August 03, 2009

Tell me,
who will you choose?
The person who you loves,
the person who loves you?

are mistakes!


=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 11:53 PM
!t's RoYAL clOwN
=Tan Xiang Zhou=xJoYz=
=4 JulY 1988=
PXPS(1995-2000),NSS(2001-04),nYP's nurs!nG(2005-2008)
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