--:: Tan Xiang Zhou ::--

Sunday, July 26, 2009

I don't love him anymore but I just can't help myself to stop about bother him.

We never been together;

But I admit I love him alot alot that time.

He is not 100% the cause of why I broke up with my 2 year boyfriend...

But...

He knows I have a boyfriend in the beginning

But we just have a deal

we will be with each other

when fate separated us

once

we chatted until late at night

when we can hear only people snore & silence

once

we look forward to meet each other

once

we put masks together

once

we lied on the bed, discussing our dreams

once

I sat on his thighs, watched gossip girls

once

he carried me, threatened to throw down from his house

once

he piggyback me back to his house

once

he told me he will never let me go hungry

once

we are so into Resturant city

once

he walked to AH from his house within 10 minutes

once

we kissed goodbye after meet up with his friends

once

he waited for me after work & bring me to eat steamboat

once

we went to eat ramen because I wanted it

once

he bought something I want to eat although my mouth said no

once

I comment on him about his house's chopsticks

once

he comment on my werid eating habit, eat and lie down halfway

once

he feel so happy for the gadgets I bought for him

once

I felt asleep on his thighs, feeling so blissful

once

he woke me up for work...his way is so so sweet!

once

we giggles and tickled each other in his bed

once

he called me his maid

once

I regretted to let go of him and called him the very night to want him back

once

he MIA and it become his habit

once

I was jumping happily when he sms me after he MIA

once

I wanted to see him so badly that I took 1 hour bus to find him

once

I looked at him smoking under the moolight

& I know we will never go back to where we were

once

I feel so helpless that I can't help him to solve his problem

once

I feel sad for him

once

I cried in the middle of the road because of him

once

I walked from AH to Adam road due to him

once

we promised to meet on this particular day but in the end...

once

I was utterly disappointed & I give up hopes on him...on love too

once

I wrote a diary from the day he mia to his birthday

now

I had become a habit that I will kept sms and call the person I love

now

I am scare of love

now

Guys end the relationship with me even before started with me

now

we are still friends but I can't help to stop bother about him.

=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 7:24 PM

Friday, July 24, 2009

My womanizer bought something for me while he is away...just simply happy...because someone remember me when he's away.
Last night went teoh's house for bonding session.
It was simply fun...took tons of photos...watch out in FB.
But,
fun is fun.
Need face reality...& went back AH today, which is my off day.
Passed TK his present; I am so nice =) but I saw him with burberry.
Of course, that's not my main motive.
My main motive is to count field team items.
Managed to count until left 7 boxes before the clock strikes 7pm.
And I am so satifised.
Because I finally got myself inked.
Out of pain score of 10, I rated it seven.
The pain is a kind of numbing, sharp pain due to the needle.
Especailly it touch the bony part.
Now, I am not in pain anymore.
Someone said tattoo is destroying the body.
But do they know what is emotional pain?
I am just trying a way to describe myself.
Different people different preception.

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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 1:02 AM

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Nice lyrics

罗志祥 - 好朋友

只是不小心拥抱着 And we accidentally hugged together.
你道歉 你难过 You apologised, you were sad,
于是我给你笑容 Hence I brought a smile to your face.
谁在乎我的心还会不会寂寞 Who cares if my heart is lonely?

蕭敬騰 会痛的石头

跑过快红灯的路口
我们大笑着一起 回头
不用刻意做些什么
两颗心就会漫出来 快乐
想起来 怎么像梦 小的美好 大的感动
是过了 多少个秋冬
沦为夏天的電影 只能重播怀旧
我们是两颗会痛的石头
猛烈冲撞后裂了缝
永远都不会懂 什么叫认错
还想爱却 调头放手
心疼你是颗会痛的石头
想要抱住你却混乱沉默
倔强的表情里 闪过了失落
你的泪 让我痛
我的浪漫 太不及格
你猜中 却还配合 没说
想做支歌记录你我
写三句 身旁你的眼 红了
想起来 怎么像梦 小的美好 大的感动
是过了 多少个秋冬
淪為下片的電影 只能重播怀旧
我们是两颗会痛的石头
猛烈冲撞后裂了缝
永远都不会懂 什么叫认错
还想爱却 调头放手
心疼你是颗会痛的石头
想要抱住你却混乱沉默
倔强的表情里 闪过了失落
你的泪 让我痛



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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 1:37 AM

Sunday, July 19, 2009

still trying getting use to Mr Jet
&
PEOPLE, stop sending mesasge & call my previous number!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH-Y!
With TK after Cass left =(Before womanizer left for KLDem's princess having break.Baby ah swang listening to pa pa ah swang.They not happy because I took their photo.Pimple.On nightHe's tire.Field teamWhat's in his mind?Volunteered model.=)=PWhile waiting for bus..

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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 3:53 PM


I can feel my extremities cold,
muscles tensing up,
tears on the edge...

Well, life still goes on...

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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 3:32 PM

Friday, July 17, 2009

Say hi to my Mr Jet...& gotta go buy screen protector & memory card tomorrow.

=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 3:01 AM

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I am in love with white rose.SUDDENLY.
Don't know why...I feel like losing faith in love after he left.
Don't want to put too much hopes.
Hopes=disappointment.

What is my dream wedding?
A simple exchange ring ceremony in a small garden with people's blissing.

But will I find my real man?

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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 10:24 PM


Someone got this for me yesterday.
=)

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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 7:19 PM

Saturday, July 11, 2009

I am so BLUR.
I thought the JUMP play is today until joo told me this morning that it is in September.
I thought I will like some cranky old granny that stay at home and the endless dvd for last night.
But.
Yes,
BUT
I went to jaclyn's bbq =)
after baby ah swang told me the very morning during shift.
And so after the bbq, I went late night movie with TK.
Waste of money...
because most of the time I hide under his red jacket because it is a horror movie.
Whatever, the effect is so creepy.
Walked out of cinema still have this scary feeling in heart.
Few days ago, was watching some movie shown in channe;.Actually, I watched thrice but I still watched.

The theme song not bad.
And I returned to my usual life by listening radio on bus instead of sticking to ipop.Heard this nice song by demi lovato.

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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 5:24 PM

Thursday, July 09, 2009

I am so sad on tuesday...that I called and message him.
I don't mean to message him.
I really want to let him go freely without any burdens and worries.
Last night went pub with pei pei & friends at neil road.
& you know,
I always love to play this game with pei pei.
Result?
one came up hestiation & the other is he is just playing on me.
Hestiation = no ending.
He's the one made the first move & yet left hestiation.
Funny...if you think you can't make a decision then don't get into the game.Hurt people's feelings.
The other one shown up only one time & showed I am still the one giving.
Although Peipei kept saying I still love him, the fact is he's in my heart and always on my mind.Is not that kind of love but more on friendship.
I messaged the secret again last night when I am back home.In the state of sobering...I wondered if he read my message.
Want to know?
ok,
6 words, 16 letters...love the way you love me when I know your heart is with me.
Pei pei said she feel like puking when all these kind of "love love" came out from my mouth.
Do I really have the face of joker?
Do I really look that unserious?
Do I really look like your somebody?
Do I really look like a player?
Hai~

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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 9:12 AM

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

I am so tire...after uploading photos to various website for my 21st birthday.
Today is a very "lucky" day.
I was at ward 1 again.-_-"'
Slacking and fb-ing.
And then the shit-est thing happened.
I stained my whole pant.
As I was all alone in ward 1, no one is there to replace me.
In the end, I managed to get some replacement.
Now, I am having running nose...

Anyway, thanks everyone who wishes me from their bottom of their heart.

I want to write a letter to the person in my bottom of my heart but I am too tire now.

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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 1:28 AM

Sunday, July 05, 2009

I had not been sleeping properly for the past 24hours.
I missed the secret in my bottom of heart and suddenly think of it when walking home after kakoke session.
Hopefully, it will be only for a short period of time.
But I am happy that I contacted a MIA friend recently and the message he sent me is really sweet.
Shall upload ph0tos tomorrow ZZzzzZZZ

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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 4:28 AM

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Guess what?
Last night was damn fun!
Except for the fact that someone thought I lesbian.
And I kissed a girl...lip tp lip, tongue to tongue.
Taste like the same.
Not much different but the mouth is smaller compared to a guy =P

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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 8:14 AM

Friday, July 03, 2009

Actually I already can feel it.
Your determine is so strong that I can't do anything but to follow your instruction.
I already prepare myself for this but I do sad as I refuse to accept.
This time I only told two friend that I am so sad, not including the one who saw your message.
First friend I called is someone who knew us.
I called her, told her everything how I feel.
She analysised the situation for me.
I feel better after ranting out all my pain.
Second friend...
It's because I am looking for someone that come immediately to my mind.
Maybe after all these day, I realized the guys around me all come and go with a motive.
But that person come immediately to my mind, do not lie to me at all.

Tomorrow I will be 21.
There's a chinese proverb and it's goes like this "不经一事,不长一智。"
"You can't know about something unless you experience it; wisdom comes from experience".
I treat everything as learning experience to make me strong.
This is not the first time it hurt so much.
Pain score of 10; I rate it as 7-8.
Everyone asked me why I go and cut my hair.
I always wanted it short but you really gave me the force to cut it.
Anyway, everyone said it's nice =)
I asked my mum to get me a ring because I want to be committed to something.And the only thing I can committed now is my family.
21 should able to think wiser.
Differiate right and wrong.
Know who is really sincere.
My next breakthrough shall be tattooing.
Tattooing may sound a turnoff but it's always one of the thing in my wishlist.
I have think about it for a long long time.
Tattoo is forever...so I will need to find a unique one to ink over my body.
After that I will go photoshoot.
To get my most beautiful side being show on picture.

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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 7:21 AM

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

The answer I got it.
Surprise?

Maybe.

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=BeAutIful FrIghter=
fights till the end...@ 2:07 AM
!t's RoYAL clOwN
=Tan Xiang Zhou=xJoYz=
=4 JulY 1988=
=cANceR=
=s!NgApoRe=
=fOotpR!nTs=
PXPS(1995-2000),NSS(2001-04),nYP's nurs!nG(2005-2008)
=打工仔=
fuJ! flYer d!stribUtoR(2004),cofFeEbEaN bArisTa(2004-05),sPeC flYeR d!stRiButOR(2005),Tradebiz ProMotoR(2005-06),ISEP worker(Oct 2006),Dynamic Asia(APr-Jun 2007),M!nt Cafe(2007),G!nZa PuB(2008),Alexhealth(2008-)


=一直尋找=
*endless fun & lauGther tHroUGhouT l!fE
*a hApPY fAm!LY
*aBi!l!tY tO sUPPoRt mY PaRenTs
*pReFeCt rEsUlT
*mOneY throuGh earn!nG & sav!nG
*furtheR stUdY cUm tra!n!nG (free?)
*bEcMinG haPPY w!fe & have a understanD!nG man
Craved for
*LV baG
*DeGree !n nurs!nG
*lAPtoP
*seW!nG mAch!ne
*a rOmAntIc trAvell!nG with mY rEaL mAN
*overSea shoPP!nG annualLY

look!ng back Past
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Shoot!